Original Posted By: David Scott
Pietenpol Discussion I know that these are not directly related to the list, but they are quitehumorous. EnjoyKen22 November 1996 -- Any More Complaints?The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make athree-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing betweenaircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us twothousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?" Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me fourthousand dollars worth!"15 November 1996 -- What the...?!PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the towerand said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so goahead and let PSA go first". The tower promptly cleared PSA fortakeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation!8 November 1996 -- Which Exit Did You Say That Was?A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with hisapproach speed just a little too high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 Heavy, turn right at the end if able. If notable, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 back to the airport."1 November 1996 -- Ouch!Western Airlines had a term for its second officers. The term was "GIB,"which stood for, "Guy In Back." The term was strictly unofficial and wasactually frowned upon by the management at Western. It seems that somewise-guy pilot had been browsing through a dictionary and had made thediscovery that a "gib" is a castrated tomcat.11 October 1996 -- What Is That Thang?It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was beingvectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at Kansas City. KCApproach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a 727, oneo'clock and three miles." Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him." KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleveno'clock and three miles. Do you have that traffic?" Delta 105: (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl): "Well ...I've Got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu or aChevelle, though."13 September 1996 -- Mama Didn't Raise No Fools!Unknown Aircraft: "I'm ***** bored!"Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourselfimmediately!!"Unknown Aircraft: "I said I was ***** bored, not ***** stupid!"28 June 1996 -- No, That's Not What I Said!O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3miles, eastbound."United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this ... I've got thatFokker in sight."________________________________________________________________________________
Pietenpol-List: Pilot / Tower Conversations
Pietenpol-List: Re: Pilot / Tower Conversations
Original Posted By: John Duprey
Ken,Good stuff. I'll run it in our club newsletter in Melbourne, Australia next month.Thanks,Leo --On Mon, 29 Mar 1999 09:24:28 Ken Beanlands wrote:>I know that these are not directly related to the list, but they are quite>humorous. Enjoy>>Ken>>22 November 1996 -- Any More Complaints?>The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a>three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between>aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two>thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?" >Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four>thousand dollars worth!">>15 November 1996 -- What the...?!>PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower>and said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go>ahead and let PSA go first". The tower promptly cleared PSA for>takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation!>>8 November 1996 -- Which Exit Did You Say That Was?>A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his>approach speed just a little too high. >San Jose Tower: "American 751 Heavy, turn right at the end if able. If not>able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 back to the airport.">>1 November 1996 -- Ouch!>Western Airlines had a term for its second officers. The term was "GIB,">which stood for, "Guy In Back." The term was strictly unofficial and was>actually frowned upon by the management at Western. It seems that some>wise-guy pilot had been browsing through a dictionary and had made the>discovery that a "gib" is a castrated tomcat.>>11 October 1996 -- What Is That Thang?>It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was being>vectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at Kansas City. KC>Approach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a 727, one>o'clock and three miles." >Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him." >KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven>o'clock and three miles. Do you have that traffic?" >Delta 105: (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl): "Well ...>I've Got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu or a>Chevelle, though.">>13 September 1996 -- Mama Didn't Raise No Fools!>Unknown Aircraft: "I'm ***** bored!">Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself>immediately!!">Unknown Aircraft: "I said I was ***** bored, not ***** stupid!">>>28 June 1996 -- No, That's Not What I Said!>O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3>miles, eastbound.">United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this ... I've got that>Fokker in sight.">>-----== Sent via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==-----http://www.dejanews.com/ Easy access to 50,000+ discussion forums________________________________________________________________________________
Ken,Good stuff. I'll run it in our club newsletter in Melbourne, Australia next month.Thanks,Leo --On Mon, 29 Mar 1999 09:24:28 Ken Beanlands wrote:>I know that these are not directly related to the list, but they are quite>humorous. Enjoy>>Ken>>22 November 1996 -- Any More Complaints?>The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a>three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between>aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two>thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?" >Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four>thousand dollars worth!">>15 November 1996 -- What the...?!>PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower>and said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go>ahead and let PSA go first". The tower promptly cleared PSA for>takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation!>>8 November 1996 -- Which Exit Did You Say That Was?>A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his>approach speed just a little too high. >San Jose Tower: "American 751 Heavy, turn right at the end if able. If not>able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 back to the airport.">>1 November 1996 -- Ouch!>Western Airlines had a term for its second officers. The term was "GIB,">which stood for, "Guy In Back." The term was strictly unofficial and was>actually frowned upon by the management at Western. It seems that some>wise-guy pilot had been browsing through a dictionary and had made the>discovery that a "gib" is a castrated tomcat.>>11 October 1996 -- What Is That Thang?>It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was being>vectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at Kansas City. KC>Approach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a 727, one>o'clock and three miles." >Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him." >KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven>o'clock and three miles. Do you have that traffic?" >Delta 105: (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl): "Well ...>I've Got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu or a>Chevelle, though.">>13 September 1996 -- Mama Didn't Raise No Fools!>Unknown Aircraft: "I'm ***** bored!">Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself>immediately!!">Unknown Aircraft: "I said I was ***** bored, not ***** stupid!">>>28 June 1996 -- No, That's Not What I Said!>O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3>miles, eastbound.">United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this ... I've got that>Fokker in sight.">>-----== Sent via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==-----http://www.dejanews.com/ Easy access to 50,000+ discussion forums________________________________________________________________________________